DISTORTED
sheep thinking
the Doc is wise. really he is.
but some days, when I was early in the depression journey, I just wanted to bonk him on the head with one of those wet noodles. or worse.
what he said was true. i couldn’t hear it for years.
and i surely couldn’t see any perspective outside the depression’s deep, dark gloom.
ya know. if the life-path weren’t just so darned narrow and treacherous. parachutes. good idea.
it’s just so comfortable to hang on to those old behaviours.
the tape running on loop in my head.
and it might have kept me alive at one point in time – who knows?
letting go of the familiar, even when it hurts, just sucks.
so the Doc wanted to talk about not letting opportunity pass you by. this involved a long story about Kairos, the God of Opportunity. once he dashes past you, he cannot be grabbed, and the fleeting moment is lost. in the depths of depression, i wasn’t quite sure where the story was going.
and of course, that’s when i realised the opportunity was going, going, gone.
the doc has a view of the world that you might call a bit more sane. he is the doc after all.
whether or not he can convince me – or any of his sheep – that we have power to control our lives is another factor.
as i continue through this wizard of oz journey, just wanting to get back to kansas, never ever occurs to me to click my heals together three times.
but i do think the slippers are cool.
so the doc is really big on meds as a tool. but a lot of sheep are fearful of meds – especially if they have a history of self medicating.
the doc has a whole stack of journals with studies that show if you need grass – um – meds for anxiety, your addict craving centre won’t kick in and give you a whole new set of problems to think about.
journals. schmernals. sheep’s experience is that once started on grass, this sheep can’t stop.
yea.
safe in the office.
the world is out there waiting for sheep like us.
how do we navigate our lives?
(please don’t say “go with the flow.”)
the Doc is wise. really he is.
sometimes when sheep has good days it’s almost like a bi-polar swing toward mania. “oh, it will all be fine.”
the doc said there are some things we must always be fear-full of, and maybe the anxiety has a reason for being there.
we get these floods where i live. a lot of people die. sometimes i see ghosts and sometimes thunder and downpours can send me under the bed.
rightfully so. don’t go with the flow when the flow sucks.
